During a junior high football practice in October 2008, I remember taking it easy during just one play and Coach Patrick ripping into me. I thought I had made the tackle and allowed the ball carrier to continue running, but Coach wanted more effort than that. He screamed at the top of his lungs and called me lazy and selfish, removing me from the first team for the next play. I hustled to the sideline with my tail between my legs, furious that the coach would call me out like that.
A part of me thought, how dare he? I’m the best athlete on the field and should be able to take a play off. I also thought he didn’t know what he was talking about and that I actually didn’t take the play off, so he was in the wrong for calling me out for no reason.
Who do you think was right here? From my naive perspective, obviously, I thought I was right, and I didn’t want to admit that I could be wrong. That would destroy my ego, which I couldn’t dream of letting go of. Not knowing anything about what actually happened other than my perspective, Coach was correct. Whether or not I thought I gave full effort, it was his team, and having coached for 20+ years, he knew what he wanted, and it was just his job to hold me to that standard. His goal was not to yell at me for no particular reason, which sometimes it would feel like, but to make sure his team performed to the level of his expectation, one that he has seen win countless games.
While the ridicule was undoubtedly difficult to swallow, I knew back in the very depths of my mind that he meant well and this coaching would make me better. Holding athletes accountable to a standard and disciplining them when they mess up is the coaching required to build a successful team. Without discipline, athletes would do whatever they wanted, and there would be no organization, teamwork, or growth. A team that isn’t growing or has a bunch of athletes only playing for themselves is not a team and certainly not a winning team.
Athletes must know that a good coach must provide discipline. It’s not enjoyable to cause pain to a less “powerful” human, but to achieve the goal of winning the game, the coach is required to put you in your place, to set you straight, so that your growth continues and your talents are utilized to support the team’s victory.
As an athlete, it’s excruciatingly frustrating to experience this ridicule and feel the wrath of a coach pouring down on you with no end in sight and for no particular reason. Often, I would disregard the wrath because I felt like throughout all whopping 6 years of playing football, I thought I could quickly learn how to succeed and win on my own. While this wasn’t the case, in my mind it was. When a coach calls me out, I don’t want to hear it. You don’t know any better than I do.
During these moments, I felt like my character, my inner self, was being attacked, and I would do anything to protect myself from the fear of being wrong or the idea that I could not do it on my own. The wrath was something I wanted to avoid, but I knew I had to confront it if I wanted to continue playing and continue reaping the rewards of making tackles, scoring touchdowns, and winning games.
What you don’t realize during the ridicule is how important this is to your growth. You might be thinking, why is he calling me out but nobody else? Why is he holding me to a different standard? Why can’t he just leave me alone? I’m doing fine!
Without his coaching, you’re stuck, and others will quickly pass you by. A coach who cares about your growth is one who actively disciplines you. Otherwise, they don’t think you care about learning, listening to their instruction, supporting the team, or winning. You have become a lost cause that will not listen to instructions and is so prideful that you will do whatever you want to, thinking that you know best and that your talent is so great that you don’t need coaching.
If you’re an athlete that coaches like, what does that mean? It means they see your potential and want to help you extract it! It means that you can help the team. If you fall below a standard that they feel like you can hold, that’s when discipline needs to happen. If you’re an athlete with low potential, disciplining you for something you’re incapable of achieving is a fruitless endeavor. Coaches will allow athletes they don’t have high expectations for to do things that high-achieving athletes will not be allowed to get away with. Because of this difference in potential, coaches will and should adjust their coaching for different athletes.
Do not take “unfair” coaching as a sign that you are being picked on; instead, take it as a sign that you are being called up to higher responsibilities.
Tom Brady fervently sought private and team coaching even at the height of his career. Only through listening to the greatest coach of all time could he become the greatest athlete of all time. Elite NFL athletes constantly seek coaching. If these athletes need coaching, then so do you. The journey never ends, and your growth shall never stop.
This brings me to my point. The worst thing that can happen to you as an athlete is that your coach stops coaching you. Maybe you’re the most talented athlete on the field, but you never listen to coaching, and instead of receiving coaching, you do whatever you want. Your ego will be happy that you can go off alone and live your life as you want, but the truth is that your happiness and freedom in the moment now means death to your success as an athlete.
Our walk with the Creator of the universe is no different. God, the righteous, perfect judge of the universe as you know it, constantly seeks to guide and coach us. It’s through his discipline that you become who he wants you to be. The Creator of the universe has built the rules of the game you play in life and the ultimate goal, which only he knows for us. Through his discipline, you can walk the path of righteousness and live the life that produces “game-winning” results.
It’s through our pride that you firmly believe that you don’t need God’s coaching. The things of this earth you can physically see, financial success, a new car, a fancy house, distract us from receiving his instruction. You will sacrifice the will of the Lord of Lords to quench our earthly cravings. You refuse to believe that you need coaching, as the strategies that have led to the worldly success of countless others for hundreds of years and that you have relied upon for our worldly success have proven successful. If you follow these verifiable steps, you will become “successful,” just like everyone else who followed those steps.
In football, the shiny objects could be a sack, a touchdown, a big hit, or a forced fumble, all great things from the outside looking in. If you aim to get those shiny objects, then you need to remember your role in a particular play. As a lineman, my role is not to score a touchdown! It’s to block. If I disregard my role as a lineman and seek to score a touchdown myself, I’ve disobeyed the coach’s orders.
Instead of seeking to make big plays, you must do your job and strive to do what God has called you to do. You must seek his guidance and instruction and strive to fulfill your specific role in this world. Big moments are a natural part of the game, and God wants us to experience them. But if we forget to do our part, the chances of those occurrences are slim and less frequent.
Further, ever wonder why you haven’t heard God’s voice? Well, what if that’s his way of expressing indifference towards you? In every moment, he wants to be part of our lives. If we constantly disregard his instruction, then like a coach, the ultimate coach will back away and, with grace, still allow you to live your life without the blessings that his kingdom will afford you.
Jeremiah 9:23-24 says: “This is what the Lord says: ‘Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the Lord.”
Conversely, follow his instructions and see what kind of otherworldly success the Creator of the universe, the Ultimate Coach, has in store for you. His delight comes from knowing him and following his commands.
Just as a coach delights when a player follows his instructions and his team conducts their functions as planned, God delights in our obedience as his creation pursues to glorify him in all things, knowing that our obedience leads to eternal joy and eternal life.
Success through discipline will not come when you think it will or in the form you may have prayed for. But in the grand scheme of the game you’re playing, learning this lesson is the most important step in the ultimate game and securing your spiritual life in the Kingdom of God.
“The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.” – Psalm 19:8
“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” – John 15:10-11
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” – Psalm 16:11
